That time I cried in Panda Express’s parking lot

There are some nice perks to being a military spouse- great health insurance, a stable income, and even discounts on subs from Firehouse. But there are unique struggles that those of us who share our lives with a military member.

Go ahead, say what you’re thinking: “you signed up for it.”

Cringe.

Okay, in a sense one may have an idea of what their life will resemble when you marry a military member. Deployments, separation from family and loved ones, the unavoidable moves.

Except there are moments you can not possibly prepare for.

Like crying in your car during your lunch break because you imagine your son eating “adult food” like a champ and your husband missing it. Missing it all. His inevitable first steps. First real words. Major developmental milestones.

tears

bug

Yes. I knew what I “signed up for” in a sense. But I couldn’t possibly see the hurt and pain and heartache I would struggle with in the future.

I thought military spouses were supposed to be strong. Resilient. Unbreakable.

I was wrong.

Some days I do feel strong. I push forward. I treat myself to face masks and happily work my side job editing papers after putting my son to sleep.

mask

Other nights, I cry myself to sleep.

And that’s okay.

With all this said, just remember that on your lunch break when the tears flow freely and your heart feels heavy and achy- this isn’t the end. You might wake up the following day renewed and ready to take on the world. You might do a face mask and binge watch Gossip Girl. You’ll never know if you don’t try.

Keep pushing through the tough days- the sun will rise tomorrow.

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “That time I cried in Panda Express’s parking lot

  1. I LOVE this so much. I don’t know you all that well but via Facebook you come across strong and serious – I feel like these blogs show your softer side & it’s a beautiful thing to see! Keep on writing!

    Liked by 1 person

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