Today I ate lunch, alone, in my car, again.
In the recent years I have realized that my friends have moved away. Or we grew apart. Or maybe we were never close to begin with.
The loneliness kills me sometimes.
My husband has been gone for 105 days and the number of times I’ve been asked and/or invited to do something I can count on my left hand.
Feeling unliked isn’t a stranger to me.
I’ve never really felt like I belonged anywhere.
I’ve never had a clique. Or a group. Or a circle of friends. For more than a season.
When I was planning a wedding I found myself bridesmaid-less.
With a crew of disconnected friends.
Sometimes I feel like I am the only girl in the world without a squad.
It’s not that I feel unloved.
I feel loved by my husband and our families and our beautiful son.
But I do feel alone.
I shop alone.
I watch movies alone.
I eat lunch alone.
I’m sick of being alone.
I just wanted to write this pity party for one for all the girls out there that feel alone.
You’re not alone in these feelings.
I feel them too.
And I’m here to chat if you need to.
Maybe we can FaceTime lunch in our cars?
Because I know I can’t be the only one… right?